What never changes
by xkittybluex
Summary: -You misunderstand me, Sam. I’m not scared of you, I’m scared for you. There’s difference, you know…- Dean's pov, the brothers talking in the Impala, R


_Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the appearing characters._

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**What never changes  
**

You grab the steering wheel tighter, your knuckles going white. You barely see the traffic, not that there was much at this early hour.

"Dean… you're going too fast."

You don't take your eyes of the road. "So what, Sam? You afraid the cops might…"

He interrupts you, voice quiet, too quiet one might add. Does that sound cliché?, you wonder. "It's not funny."

"Oh come on, it's a little funny." You finally turn to face your brother to flash him one of your trademark smirks. Actually you're checking for further injuries, something that you might have overlooked but he doesn't need to know that one. Nothing catches your trained eye besides the head wound and seeing Sam was, yet again, being annoying he should be okay. That head wound though… "That might need stitches", you say, careful on keeping your voice composed. You aren't nearly as calm as you want him to think you are but you hope he doesn't notice. He's too busy brooding about something anyway as it seems. That's Sammy, alright. One hand comes up rubbing your temple and you exhale slowly. Head injuries are serious stuff and you hope your brother doesn't have a concussion, considering his luck he might have. "How many fingers do you see?"

He sighs. "Look, I'm _fine_, Dean. How many times do I have to tell you?"

Guess no concussion then. You close your eyes briefly in relief.

"Don't do that", he says.

Your eyebrows raise in question.

"I mean closing your eyes while driving", he elaborates, voice still too quiet…

"Hey Sammy, you alright?"

His head jerks to face you. "Why shouldn't I be", he snaps.

A smile tugs at your lips; you prefer snapping to that awkward silence from before. "I mean is there something going on in that freakish head of yours that you aren't telling me?"

His eyes darken and he turns away from you, facing the window again, cheek resting on cool glass.

"Come on, dude", your voice sounds almost pleading - how pathetic. You take a deep breath and carry on, this time managing to keep the worry out of your tone. "You know I'm not really into this kind of thing but if you want to talk I'll listen, okay?"

He sighs for a second time and remains silent. Silence once again… just friggin' awesome. You reach out and turn on the radio. Metallica blare the speakers und you bob your head silently to the beat. Still your mind is elsewhere. Sam is and has always been the talking kind of guy so if he was silent… well let's just say that couldn't be a good sign. "You sure your head is alright? I mean you hit this tree pretty hard and…"

"Yeah, I'm sure, Dean. Stop asking." He still doesn't look at you, the street lights illuminating the side of his face split seconds before it goes dark again, congealed blood on his forehead and sticking together his long bangs. Light… dark… light… dark… You tear your gaze off him and back to the road in front of you. "Alright, if that's what you want…"

You drive on in silence, neither of you saying a word. Finally you turn off the radio again because you can't take it anymore. He turns, looking surprised but you remain silent.

It's another fifteen minutes until the quiet is broken. "Dean…"

"Huh?"

"It escaped, didn't it?"

That's it? "So what", you say, "we come back, kill it another time."

He looks down to his knees, his bangs covering his eyes. "You should've gone after it."

"Ah well you didn't leave me much of a choice hanging there on that cliff", you try but he doesn't seem to get the joke. "Should I've let you fall?", you add in a softer tone.

He hesitates. " … maybe you should've."

"What the… what's freaking wrong with you! Fifty meters, Sam, fifty fucking meters! You fall down there you're pulp."

"I know, I'm not stupid, Dean."

You look at him, incredulous. "So you're suicidal all of a sudden or what?"

He sighs. "No, it's just…"

"It's just what?"

"You wouldn't be able to kill me, would you?"

You need some time to find your voice after that. "To… kill you? What the hell! Wait, if this is about you going dark side again…"

"Would you kill me?"

"Sam…"

"Tell me."

"What does it matter? You're not going dark side, I told you that a million times."

"But with all the angels said, with all _you_ said…", his voice fades, still, he doesn't face you.

You pull the car over and look at him. "Sam… I'm sorry for that. Dude, I really am. I was overreacting, just… scared, I guess."

He laughs dryly. "My own brother is scared of me… great."

"You misunderstand me, Sam. I'm not scared of you, I'm scared _for_ you. There's difference, you know…" You try a reassuring smile; however, he still just stares out of the window. "Sam… Sammy, look at me. You're still my brother. Nothing's ever gonna change that. No angels, no demons, _nothing_. Even if god himself, or whatever is in charge up there told me to kill you I just wouldn't."

"That's what I mean. You let that werewolf get away and now someone innocent will die the night. I'd rather…"

"But not me, okay? If it's going after fugly there or saving your ass I sure as hell chose your ass… I mean you. Ah, you know what I mean already."

He snickers lightly, you let go of a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Man, stop that brooding already that can't be healthy. Someday your head is gonna explode, bro."

"Dean…" He fidgets nervously and you know you should brace yourself for what is coming. You shut your eyes and wait; still you give an involuntary jerk when you finally hear his question. "Do you regret bringing me back? I mean… was I really worth it?"

Memories of hell flood your brain and you squeeze your eyes shut recalling the pain there, and then you remember Sam… Sam dying in your arms… his body gone cold on the bed in Cold Oak… "You're worth it to me", you say finally.

He doesn't say anything, just leans back in his seat and closes his eyes. Then, after you turn the ignition and hit the road again, Metallica in both your ears, you turn around to catch him smiling at you. It's only a half-smile and it doesn't quite reach his eyes, but still... it's something, isn't it? "Thanks", he says.

You nod, that had to be enough.

And, as always, it was.

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_Thanks for reading, reviews would be great :)_


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